DNN (Duce News Network) is breaking
a shocking development in the trail of the Century between Ex-Beatle,
Paul McCartney, and his gold-digging Wife, Heather Mills.
Mentors Guitarist and Founding
Member, Sickie Wifebeater has confessed to the BCC that Paul McCartney
indeed is as Mrs. McCartney claims, a Drunken Wifebeater. Wifebeater
claims to have witnessed personally several instances of physical
and mental abuse heaped on Mrs. McCartney by a Drunken Paul. However,
in a show of soliditary and loyalty to McCartney, Wifebeater has
fled the UK and is refusing to testify in the trail
Wifebeater was qutoed, "Paul
likes to drink and he likes to screw. His bitch, Heather, however,
is a real gold-digger who doesnt follow orders properly. McCartney
has always promoted his image as a goody two shoes with his
wimpy songs like Penny Lane and Let it Be, but you have to remember,
he is a real hard rock, as evidenced by songs like Helter Skelter.
Shit, nice guys dont write songs that inspire the Manson family
to cut out babies from their womb. McCartney is a true hard
core rocker, but he is just a little greedy. He wants to have
it all."
Wifebeater continued "I
was over in the UK jamming with Paul, working on his new album.
We drank like a case of Guiness Stout and New Castle Brown.
He and me were jamming in his basement studio he asked his woman
to roll and joint and bring down a salt shaker filled with cocaine.
His lazy bitch has already taken off her fake leg and was in
bed eating bon bons watchy the telly and refused to do as he
said. So he drunkenly staggered up the stairs and administered
some discipline while me and the drummer continued jamming."
"Paul needs to come out
as the wifebeater he is and show the world he is a true heavy
metal rocker. This will be good for his image, not bad for it.
Even if he loses a bunch of cash to her, its okay, cause he
is worth more than the King of Saudi Arabia at this point. Plus,
he can always call on his IRA hit men buddies (he did write
the pro-IRA song, leave Ireland for the Irish at one point)
to eliminate this bimbo in an OJ like move."
Paul was quoted in the exclusive
interview with Pope Scum for DNN "Hey Pope Scum. the dumb
bimbo has been quoted extensively as the reason she wanted to
divorce me is because I wouldnt let her use a bedpan! What the
fuck! I dont wanna try to sleep smelling a huge turd! Thats
just fucking wacky. It isnt like she cant get up and go to the
bathroom like any other slut! She gets around fine on one leg!
I am appealing to the judge for a summary judgement based on
this stupid shit (no pun intended) She is as guilty as OJ.
Maybe Oj can kill her and stop this madness. I need to smoke
a doob and write some good music to calm down.
