Courtney Love Ordered into Jail

Duce News Network : August 30, 2005

A sobbing Courtney Love was ordered into a 28-day drug treatment program after admitting in a Los Angeles courtroom on Friday (August 19) that she used drugs in violation of her probation, according to the Duce News Network.com. Superior Rock Court Judge Sickie Jr. told the singer he initially wanted to send her to jail, saying, "I think that you will get turned out royally by some hot lesbos in the jail and also give some good head to the penintentiary guard in the Rock Court Jail. You were told not to take these drugs by rather give them to Moosedick and Pope Heathen Scum but you lived up to your nickname Greedy Pig so now you need the judgement and treatment coming your way.”

A bench warrant was issued for Love's arrest earlier in the month after prosecutors presented evidence that Love had stolen drugs from Sickie Wifebeater and passed out after a Mentors after show party.

Love's lawyer, Howard Weitzman, said outside the courtroom that Love "had a relapse," but wanted to kick her drug problem: "She's serious. She's sincere. And she's pretty tenacious about getting her life in order." Weitzman did not say how this new development would affect Love's custody of her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain.

Pope Scum, Church of El Duce, said the Church would seek custody of Frances Bean on a permanent basis. He stated to reporters : "After all the plastic surgery, Courtney is actually hot and her daughter is also slutty. Frances Bean will service the Senior Clergy in the Church in a Sexual Way. El Duce killed her father so this makes a lot of sense."

Love was on probation as a result of two drug-related arrests in 2003.
She must appear in court on September 16 for sentencing in the probation violations.

Judge Sickie J said that there will be "further consequences" on that date, adding that he believes Love needs either "a long-term drug program or a long term in County Jail."

The former Hole vocalist and widow of Nirvana's Kurt Cobain was praised by another judge in July for making progress in her rehabilitation. This judge has been removed from the bench by Superior Court Presiding Judge Sickie J, show stated “once a bimbo always as bimbo. This nitwit ex judge had to pay the price for his stupidity and now he is out of here.”