While on the planet,
El Duce performed several miracles. This have been recorded
in the annals of the Church of El Duce and have been authenticated
by the Pope of The Church of El Duce, Dr. Heathen Scum.
These documented
miracles are :
i) Turned wine into
Kessler Whiskey. This was done by Duce for other panhandlers
on Hollywood Blvd. to drink when they ran out of money and
wanted to get fucked up. Duce stated to the assembled faithful,
"Jesus turned water into wine. I am way more rockin
than that. Wine at most have 15 per cent alcohol in it.
My whiskey is 100 proof. This stuff will really get you
fucked up good."
ii) Invented Rape
Rock
iii) Hypnotized uptight
sluts into "kicking down" their pussy to the band
and the road crew
iv) managed to avoid
arrest in several incidents
